there are some days when i blog as a discipline. since i really want to write an updated southern gothic novel (or would it be memoir???), i practice writing all the time.
there have been many days when i wanted to write but the internet was down, and strange as it may seem, i simply can't write just into thin air anymore. i can't use a word processor. (i think it's cuz it reminds me of the thousands of papers i had to write in grad school or of the millions of words i've written for nonprofit reports and grant requests. feels like WORK! whereas blogging feels like chatting with a best friend - the one you can pour out all your secrets to and she doesn't judge you.)
i wanna catch up on my life adventures. there have been so many lately, it's dizzying.
for halloween, i shopped at the goodwill store on university in berkeley, and found some great accessories for my gypsy fortune telling outfit. (a 7 foot long black and blue fuzzy stuffed snake and a crystal ball!)
my lover had cautioned me that the party we were attending was extremely exclusive and that i should take great pains over my costume. (i am unimpressed with exclusivity and never spend more than an afternoon primping so i just rolled my eyes at him.)
i did however, dye my hair with henna, get a pedicure in a glowing gold tone, and have my hair cut and styled. (i NEVER get mani's or pedi's unlike my high maintenance daughters! i find them too frivolous and plus, having asian women kneeling at my feet makes me really uncomfortable as an immigrants rights activist!)
and i played with all my burning man costumes for hours, trying on this and that thing, planning what i'd impress everyone with.
my lover seemed anxious and that made me nervous too. we drove to marin and fought a little over how we'd treat each other at the party. i recalled that while i love the way he treats me when we're in private, i loathe the way he treats me in public. when he's at my house or on my turf, he knows i don't put up with any macho bullshit.
but i've noticed that when we're out at a party as a couple, his middle eastern treat -women-like-they're-possessions personality comes out. ICK!
i gave him some guidelines and told him if he treated me at all like his property, i'd leave the party and he'd never see me again. i felt like we'd come a long way and he'd really progressed. i find him to be usually very teachable and truly eager to learn how american women want to be respected.
plus, it's my first time to date someone from another culture seriously, so i wanted to give him plenty of chances. i'm sure i've offended others from foreign countries with my own cultural ignorance so...fair's fair!
we lugged all our camping gear and tons of luggage up to the balinese style mansion in a ritzy neighborhood in marin. actually he did the lugging; i have a double standard about gender equality. i find that if i put on my makeup while the man does the heavy lifting, this works well for me. (:
there was security at the door and you had to have id to get in and your name had to be on the VIP list. wow! never been to a party like that! they even issued little "all access passes" to my lover and me!
i felt like i was wayyyyyyyyyyyy out of my league when i walked inside. i'm just a soccer mom from the south. and i revert to middle school insecurity when faced with people who are way smarter, way more well traveled, way better looking, tons more wealthy, and wayyyyyyyyyy more cultured than me. i suddenly go into time warp and feel that same old panic i used to feel worrying over my level of popularity back in junior high! it's NOT a pleasant sensation!
but before long, i was chatting up strangers and laughing with my lover's friends and several people started hitting on me. a roller blading self proclaimed son of god in a fabulous silver lame evening gown (we dubbed him "sexy jesus" since there was also an authentic jesus "just looking to get nailed!" at the party too) danced with me at the roller disco. (yes, the basement of the party had a roller disco complete with live dj, light show, pool table covered with percussion instruments so people could play along!)
then he began kissing my neck and he was quite cute and at least 15 years younger than me so i thought, what the hell, it's all harmless.
my lover and i had negotiated guidelines that we would check in with each other if either of us wanted to make out/fuck another person at the 3 day long party.
but i couldn't find him and sexy jesus was coming on strong so i decided it wouldn't hurt to snuggle!
the owners of the house had set aside their bedroom as a play room (as in sex play).
so we went there to cuddle. another couple, a white bi guy (dressed as elton john in glowing red sequins) and his hot japanese date (dressed as a domme with a large black bullwhip) lay beside us. they were friends of my lover, so we pupply piled all up and began stroking each other playfully!
the room had at least 3 king size mattresses inside huge dramatic balinese headboards and frames. the lights had been dimmed and there were red velvet covers on the beds. a fantastic boudoir with sculptures and objets d'art everywhere! exotic lamps had long satin tassles. after laying on my back a while i realized that attached to the headboard were all kinds of kinky sex toys. they were hard to see since the beds were made of intricately carved wood, hundreds of years old, and gloriously detailed.
at first i thought the house must be specially decorated for halloween but i found out they have it that way all the time! the wife is an author of vampire erotica, ala anne rice. in her office, which looked like a voodoo antique shop in the french quarter, she had altars on every shelf. these were not the kind of light airy goddess altars i make with my pagan friends. these were dark, brooding, voluptuous, bloody, and rich with catholic iconography and dark arts' haitian spirituality.
the husband is an artist in demand the world over. i got to tour his studio, a converted garage. he makes metal "paintings" etchings into silver, gold, aluminum, platinum, which are 2 dimensional but feel 3D since they seem to change shape like a holograph as you move about the room. truly stunning work!
clearly they are doing quite well for themselves!
so sexy jesus (is there anything sexier than a man in a dress?) and i were kinda making out a little when in walks my lover. ooooops. but he's a huge flirt and i figured he was just casing the play area to establish a place for his nightly catch, whomever that might be.
but i felt guilty so i bowed out politely, explaining to the son of god my lovers' and my rules. i felt a little silly. it was a wild party, not a citadel king gathering or a polyamory potluck where people readily talk about boundaries. this was a full on bacchanalia with no rules!
i found my lover and he introduced me to lots more of his friends, we danced a bit, and ended up back in the boudoir.
he lay me down and we began kissing and teasing each other like we enjoy. up came the host of the party, the artist owner of the place, dressed like the zorro(the elder one played by anthony hopkins) with dark eyeliner and long silver black hair, his own. as soon as my lover was done introducing me, zorro, who looked more than a little dangerous, started kissing me too. and playing with my ass, and before i knew it, he'd worked off my pants, pulled up my undies, and started licking my asshole.
that's right! he greeted me to his party, me a good little southern girl who always tried to live right, me who never did drugs or partied all night in my youth, who kept her almost virginity till marriage.....
me! he kissed my asshole!
i was just flabbergasted! and not in a good way.
normally, i would just slap a guy like that and tell him off right then and there.
but trouble is, i've come to enjoy wild kinky sex and i've come to like bad boys and want to find out what they have to offer.
and well, it felt good.
my lover has done that to me a couple of times, but only rarely since that particular sex act seems so.....well.....unseemly! plus, i'm a pretty healthy person and a safe sex advocate so licking someone's asshole is NOT my cup of tea. (no hepatitis for me thank you very much!)
but i found myself just giggling like a schoolgirl!
what the fuck!
what the hell was wrong with me?
my lover, i could see, was jealous and unsure what to do. we both didn't want to offend our host. he's clearly several gigantic social strata above us and we both rather wanted to be invited back to his enclave to meet more fascinating artists, authors, world travelers, story tellers, performers.
damn, what to do?
how exactly does one tell one's host to remove their tongue from your ass in a polite, inoffensive way?
amy vanderbilt didn't cover this subject. emily post had not said anything about this at all!
i caught my lover's eye, mouthed "what do i do?????" and he clearly had no clue.
so i consulted my inner southern bitch. she has always stood me in good stead. and i asked myself "what would an ethical slut do?"
i concluded that an ethical slut would enjoy the ride if it pleased her and get off at her convenience if it did not, host be damned!
and that's exactly what i did!
i lay there, allowing that man to lick my ass. i squeezed my lover's hand and stared him in the eyes since i figured it just might turn him on and allow him to relax and enjoy it too.
it felt good, and i was enjoying myself, and no one was getting hurt.
so there you have it!
more adventures later; it's getting late!
teaser: the host went down on me for hours the next night when he could have had any of a million young lovelies. and my lover got to comfort, snuggle, and intimately caress the hosts' wife while he was fucking me! haha! more to come!