meltdown and revival

wow! kindness makes all the difference in the world!

i feel 1000% better.

yesterday, i had a huge emotional meltdown from all the stress of the eviction (for my subtenant/roommates who wouldn't pay rent.) and my sweet boyfriend (ok, we broke up a few weeks ago but he wants me back and is calling me constantly and writing me and i'm considering it) was just fucking amazing! he's so fucking supportive!!!!!!!! good god, he's a good man!

and my current lover was a huge help!

i just admitted that i was just way too stressed to deal with all the shit going down from my subtenants! it's so hard to cope with them fucking me over. i try to be honest and do the right thing; since i was raised to be a really good christian, following the ten commandments just comes really easy to me even though i'm an atheist buddhist now. so it still blows my mind when people just lie to your face and steal from you! and threaten you.

the subtenants sent me many emails saying they had contacted the police and would press charges if i attempted to get my stuff from the house. "press charges for what?!" my boyfriend demanded. "it's your stuff! and they're not paying rent!"

i'm truly frightened of my subtenants now since they've behaved in such insane ways.

i've been a landlord for my own property for 10 years now and i helped run my parents rental property business when i was still in high school! so i know what crazy tenants act like. i swear in cali, they are even more fucked up than anywhere. i've never been treated like this in my whole life!

i'm still reeling from shock!

so yesterday morning i just had a major meltdown since my landlord isn't helping me and is making my life much harder by trying to evict me for their shit.

i figured out she made a back door deal with them to sell them the place and that's why she's willing to shaft me for the money which they owe instead of pursuing getting it from them or at least helping me get it from them. she's a piece of work. i'm still just astounded at how people will cheat you over money. i would never do that to anyone so it still amazes me that people can live with themselves after failing to follow the golden rule!

anyway, my sweet boyfriend talked me down from the ledge, and he and my lover loaned me some money (till my next payday) to rent a new place here in berkeley. (i was hemmorhaging money from having to come back in town and having no place to stay or cook or park while i deal with the subtenants).

this means i'll have to stay here in the bay area and forego WWOOFing just now since i've got to deal with all the court dates, meet with lawyers, file papers, etc. etc. etc.

good lord, wears me out just thinking about it!

plus, i was so worried sick by monday night that i didn't sleep but 2 hours. i was awake till 5 am worrying over getting an eviction on my record! and trying to figure out how to motivate the tenants to pay the fucking rent, dammit! they have more money than me and they are trying to outlast me but i'm crafty and an extremely good researcher.

nothing like getting sued by your ex over custody every year to make you pretty savvy in a legal library. so, while lawsuits are uberstressful and horrible, at least i know the terrain!

my new friend, linda, is such a total sweetheart!!!!!!!! she and jason and i are active with the bay area bi network and they have hosted me during my weekend trips back to the bay area while i've been on the road for the last 2 months.

today she called a friend of hers from unity church who works with nolo press. it's a publisher (and networking org) which specializes in low cost legal info. linda fucking rocks! we drove over to nolo and out came one of their top people who GAVE me 2 books worth $75 on california landlord/tenant law. (i promptly made a donation to nolo!)

i've considered purchasing rental property out here so i need to familiarize myself with the laws anyway, not just for this case. plus, since i used to be a public policy wonk, i actually enjoy reading legal tomes. go figure!

i think it's the fundamentalist in me. if you grow up being forced to go to bible class for an hour every day and argue ridiculously inane religious law for days on end, (weeks, years even) you pretty much are set to make a good lawyer.

i loathe lawyers, except for public interest ones.

but i do love to read case law!

my sweet lover took me out to dinner last night and cheered me up; he can make me laugh so easily! i just adore him. he just lets me cry on his shoulder and he just holds me and tells me he loves me and that i'm full of light and love and how beautiful i am and how it's all gonna work out for the best.

and the cool couple i hooked up with at the burner decom party accepted me as their new housemate with no downpayment or deposit. and i can rent month to month so i can still do my housesitting gig in nevada city next month. yay! i love going there!

which means i have no rent to pay from tgiving to christmas. which means i can spend all my moolah on my kids! and my dear sweet momma.

yay!

and my awesome ex-boyfriend called me each hour to check on me and gave me multiple pep talks and told me he'd do anything for me. he's so good to me.

and i love my new housemates. they are cool former one tasters and they are kinky, poly, and i suspect bisexual. whooohooo! which means that i didn't have to be embarrassed when my strap-on fell out of my moving boxes. ha!

and i love my new room!!!!!!!

it's a sunny cream color with the palest yellow in it. it faces east, my fave direction to face in a bedroom. i love to wake up with the sun streaming in on me. and tonight the full moon rose right in my window!

and i loooooooooooooooooove berkeley. it's the brokely part of berkeley kinda.

but i much prefer mulitculti hoods to boring ass all white 'burbs!

today, some boys were in front of the house while i was moving in. (i haven't unpacked my car since well before burning man!) and they offered to help. they were the cutest little school boys on their bikes. all different ethnicities. all of 'em around 10 years old. the leader, a young african american cutie with bitchin sunglasses, was a real go getter. he strode right up to me and asked me if i needed help moving in. hell, i remember being 10 and needing money for candy and what not, so even though i'm broke as hell, i said, "sure!" and he organized the boys and they all helped.

so i paid him and he looked proud when he rode off to join his friends.

his buddy had a kickass bike with a homemade paint job so i told them about the bike workshop at crucible. turns out the ringleader had been there. i hope i run into them again. they are all my new neighbors now. yay!

i'm going to bed on my new furniture. the owners set me up with bookshelves, a large futon, and a dresser.

i'm at peace even in the middle of the storm. i think i can rest now.

goddess, bless my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!