my kinky, kinky lover

i woke up cranky, hot, (it's 90 degrees in our usually cool city today) and depressed about my kids today BUT i had the best day yesterday!!!!

my lover has been wanting to experiment with bdsm since i'm kinky and he's very sex positive. but he's not into pain or humiliation or dominance for dominance's sake. (neither am i.) i explained to him that many people into kink just like "sensation play" which causes no pain.

i'm no expert, i've only been playing with kinksters for a year but i use my sociologist training to discover all i can about this vast underworld.

so my fabulous lover went toy shopping with one of the best and most handsome dommes in the city. (stefanos, who's married to the gorgeous chey -with whom he hosts amazing parties- and father of their adorable baby). my lover built stefanos' website.
so stef took him shopping with a beautiful model whom he got to try out all the potential toys on. they went to stormy leather in soma and some other shops.

and last night he brought all his new toys over, put his new blindfold on me (one side is velvet, one side is leather) and dommed me with sensation play for over an hour. it was such a blast!
i was writhing and moaning and i came so hard when he finally fucked me!

the persian (my loverman) is new to bdsm and queer kink but he's very experienced with all kinds of straight vanilla sexual activity and was an avid porn watcher (i'm trying to get him to shift to fair trade feminist erotica since i don't like to support the exploitive porn that is the norm for the industry).

i'm new to all of it myself and we're both very playful and willing to be silly and laugh about anything that goes wrong.

i have an inflatable bed, not a real mattress, which we sleep on and lately the mattress seems to lose much of its air very quickly. so we roll around on it like a sinking ship and often accidentally poke or kick each other with hilarious results. he said, "we have clown sex, honey, like the three stooges." i laughed so hard! i love being with someone who is so laid back in bed. he's so mellow. he's fine if we try something and it doesn't work.

i would never want to be with a lover who's all serious and can't make mistakes or who's cocky and know it all. my sex never goes like hollywood movies where they get all the moves right and they cum at the same time and there are no ragged edges. my sex is all comedy, tragedy and side show. we can be sad together about our losses and pains and griefs and then we can laugh so hard at our own foibles and tease each other about our predilections. we have a blast! i really adore my persian!

so back to the toy bag (i wasn't allowed to see what was in it which was uber fun for me-i love to be surprised!): first he had me lay on our bed, then he blindfolded me with the velvet side against my eyes. then he rubbed the feathers all over my naked body, legs, arms, breasts, thighs. then he put on some kind of glove that has metal spikes on it, and rubbed me all over very lightly. it was delicious and tingly. i adored it. it made me almost come! then he used a wheel thingy on me. (i'll find out the technical term, it starts with w, wartenberg maybe? and sounds complicated but it's just like those wheels we used in home ec back in 10th grade to mark our fabric with before we cut the pattern.) i didn't like that so much. then he got some little vibrator and put it all over the tops of my pubes and very close to my clit. it seemed to be attached to something spiky cuz just when i wanted to lean in and come it would get sharp so i lay back and just let him do his thing which made me curve and moan and pull him to me.

it all made me really want him bad so i started playing with his balls, he loooooooooooves that! and rubbing his cock up and down and begging him to fuck me.

"okay, baybee, i'm gonna fuck you now." i love when he talks dirty to me.

so he lay down and i took off the blindfold and fucked him cowgirl style, his favorite.

mmmmmmmmmm, that was fun! i came and came. he didn't (sometimes he can last so long with a hard on it's amazing!) so after i was done riding him, i gave him a hand job. there should be a better word for hand job. that sounds so demeaning and boring, like it's work. i love rubbing his cock! i love going up and down on his shaft! and i love teasing his balls and finger fucking him! he moans so when i gently push one lubed gloved finger into his asshole. and he loves when i talk dirty and describe what i'm doing and what fantasies i've had that day.

mmmmmm! gotta love the persian sex! it's better than anything i've EVER experienced! he makes me come more than any lover i've ever had. and he's such a sweetheart!

he calls me during his lunch break just cuz he misses me. he brings me chocolate cupcakes every week and calls it "cup cake wednesday." it's our own new holiday for just us two! just last month, he brought me a rose when i was feeling down about the loss of my kids. and he tenderly cared for me each time i was sick. we've only been together for 7 months but it feels like a lifetime!

(FYI: for new readers, i lost custody to my battering ex-husband 10 years ago but the pain never goes away. and i cope with chronic physical pain as a result so have been hospitalized for many medical procedures which are not fun!)



more fun from yesterday:

yoga at the Y is such a blessing for me. it helps with my chronic pain. our instructors there are really great, very friendly and approachable and kind. and a hot guy chatted me up so i'm def going back!!! daYmn he was fine.

(my lover and his wife and my boyfriend and i are all polyamorous, so there's no jealousy when we want to see other lovers or date someone new. yay!)

and i finally made it out to the queer sangha which i've been dying to go to for weeks. it's at the east bay meditation center on wednesday nights. very cool teacher last night: shahara something. she drew from my favorite poets and writers for her lesson: mary oliver, audre lorde, toni morrison, etc. wow! it was a great lesson on identity after our 30 minute sit.

i'm so proud i could finally sit for 30 minutes! when i first started meditating with my boyfriend (dif from my lover) i could only sit for like a minute before quietly freaking out. i just couldn't stand the pain in my body or the noise in my mind. but after years of watching my sweetie meditate - he has a daily practice - and years of reading pema chodron, alice walker, thich natch hahn, etc., i could finally sit for a longer time. that was soooooooooo healing. it was a guided meditation which i prefer. the totally silent ones are harder for me. i get soooooo distracted. as pema says: i "spin off" into worry or despair or fear or pain or sadness or just planning next week's activities.

but last night i really was able to mostly just sit in the power of now.

yay!

AND i wrote a poem in response to liz green's work in the bi-licious program. she slammed poetried all up on the stage about being incested at age 4 and coming out as bi. it was really amazing! she's an award winning poet and she's only about 25 but her stuff is SO powerful! it's right up my alley too, since she confronts the abusers who use the guise of religion and polite society to hide their dirty deeds. way to go liz! i'll put my poem up in another post.

love to all old readers who follow me here and to new ones who find me here. may we be of great comfort to one another and assure each other that we are never alone in our suffering or our joy!