Saturday, September 6, 2008

all work and no play....

DIY workaholic tee
Originally uploaded by Bubi
i got very frustrated with my bf yesterday and rehashed the same argument we've been having for the past 5 years. i adore him but he's a bit of a workaholic.

he's working nonstop from the time i arrived till tonight. 12 hour days that leave me isolated and bored.

and that can make for some pretty lonely times for his girlfriend.

he's so loving and the perfect gentleman and he's so deeply spiritual and he's handsome and funny and he has the best heart! and he snuggles me just like i like each night all tucked in with his arms wrapped around me.

so why can't i just be happy with the way things are?

i decided to do just that.

i decided that despite my getting upset with him over lack of time together to just goof off and have fun, it's gonna all be okay.

there is a reason i left him behind when i moved to cali. if i'd been completely happy, i never would have left him.

and without that lust for life that pulls me onward, i wouldn't have found i love being polyamorous.

so i think any troubles we have only lead us more toward the path we're supposed to be on. even though i'm an atheist, it feels good to believe in buddhism, that all trials only lead us to where we were meant to be in the first place.

so i accept that my bf is a workaholic and that's not the lifestyle i choose for myself.

and i love the life i'm living. so i'll just be grateful for what we have together, cuz when it's good, it's really, really good.

he was so hilarious today. he's in a really good mood. slapping the air with his towel, dancing his butt dance (a private performance which only i get to see!), singing, smooching me all over.

i worry i'm not in love anymore but i don't think any relationship can maintain the constant closeness which we once had. and without these strong desires to find something else, i never would have met my lovers whom i really enjoy.

so i guess, in the end, it's all good.

No comments: